Hello World… Part 2.

Oh wow. It’s been 2 years since my last post. Will start to write again.

Pipilitin ko na uli magsulat kahit twice a month. Hehe!

So yeah… Happy New Year sa lahat and hello world! Ang isdang nalulunod ay muling magbabalik para magkwento ng mga walang kwentang pangyayari o bagay sa inyong lahat!! 😀

A Girl You Should Date

Saw this post from my News Feed sa FB and read it then instantly fell in love with the write-up then had the urge to post it here on my blog. Kudos to the one who wrote this.

And yeah, to you Ms. Author who wrote the post, I hope you’re still single so I can mingle with you. Haha! 🙂

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A GIRL YOU SHOULD DATE

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

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Happy holidays everyone! 🙂

Random post.. Random blah..

I was supposed to write on my journal tonight kaya lang… NAWAWALA YUNG BOLPEN KO!!!! Kaasar lang.

So ayun, I started writing a journal again. Well, di naman yun regular thing. I just write pag lang wala akong makausap na matino and just to pour my feelings out. At daghil nga nawawala yung bolpen ko, dito ako sa blog ko magsusulat.. Err.. Magta-type. Haha! Forgive the randomness.. :p

Naisipan ko panoorin uli yung video na Strangers…Again by Wongfu Productions. Yung video is about the stages of a romantic relationship. From meeting to breaking up. As I was watching it, naisip ko na hindi lang din siya for couple kundgi para din sa magkakaibigan. Sabi nga, “All things come to an end, even the good ones.”. And I now truly believe na kahit ang isang magandang pagsasamahan, mapa-romantic man o magkaibigan, nagtatapos din kung may mag-gi-giveup when problem arises on their relationships.

It takes two to tango. Hindi pwedeng isa lang ang gumagalaw sa isang relasyon. Hindi pwedeng ikaw lang tanggap ng tanggap. Dapat marunong ka din magbigay. Hindi pwedeng ikaw lang ang nagsasalita, dapat marunong ka din makinig.

Nakakalungkot lang kasi isipin kung bakit kailangang magtapos ang isang magandang pagsasamahan dahil lamang naging masyado na kayong kumportable sa isa’t-isa and took your partner (or friend) for granted. Naiintindihan ko ang hiwalayan kung nambabae/nanlalake, or sadyang nakahanap na ng iba or namatay yung partner or something. Pero yung maghihiwalay dahil lang sa hindi lagi natetext, natatawagan, nasusundo ng tama sa oras. Mga ganung chu chu. Mga petty things. That’s bull. Sobrang immature. Kaasar lang.

Siguro sasabihin saken nung iba, those little things matter because that defines who or what your partner really is. I somehow agree pero is that really a reason para matapos ang isang relasyon? I think not. Maliit na nga bagay nga eh, bakit kailangan pang palikihin? Kaya nga nauso yung salitang compromise di ba? Para san pa at naging mag boypren at gelpren kayo kung hindi kayang pag usapan ang mga maliliit na problema? Yun lang naman. Haha!

Okay. I think I’m already derailed from my original thought but I hope I was able to deliver my thoughts para sa mga nagbabasa netong blog ko. Haha! Anyways, yun lang. Wala na ako uli maisip na isusulat.

Sa mga makakabasa neto, I leave you this question from a movie I saw: “Is it possible to love someone and never be afraid of losing them?”. Ciao! n__n

Pa-Fesbuk nga!

Okay, nagbabasa ako ng mga wall post ko kanina at biglang nakita ko ito. Natuwa ako sa isang post na ito kaya naman ishe-share ko din sa inyo.. Hehe!

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PA – PEYSBUK NGA!!!!” [Read this very funny!]

"Ui friend! Pa log in naman sa FB. Check ko lang kung may nag comment sa picture ko."

“PA – PEYSBUK NGA!!!!”. Linya ng estudyante na uubusin ang baon para makapagrent sa isang internet shop. Linya ng isang empleyado pagkadating niya sa opisina at naabutang ginagamit ng katrabaho ang office computer. Linya ng kapitbahay na gustong maki gamit ng internet sa kadahilanang hindi siya nakapagbayad ng bill. At kung sino man ang sinasabihan nila, malamang ang isasagot nito ay.. “teka, log out ko lang..”. Nagpe-facebook din pala.

Facebook. Ang social networking site na lumamon sa myspace at friendster. Ito rin ang pilit kinakaibigan ng ilan pang aspiring forms of social media. Pansinin mo, yung mga bagong kumakaribal sa Facebook e may feature kung saan magrereflect din sa FB account mo ang kung ano mang post mo, gamit ang site nila. Gaya nalang ng twitter, tumblr at kung ano ano pa. Parang pelikula. Pag pinalabas ito sa sinehan sa guadamall (ang mabagsik na mall sa guadalupe), ipapalabas din ito sa sinehan ng MOA. Nagkakaiba nga lang sa level ng urine aroma at dami ng surot sa upuan.

Sa sobrang popularidad nito ay pwede na itong iconsider na necessity. Iba na ngayon. Humans need food, water and facebook. Clothing? Ano ngayon kung nakahubad. At least. nakaporma ka naman sa bago mong profile picture. Pwede na ngang iconsider ang kasalukuyan bilang “The Facebook Era”. Ang panahon kung saan tangap na ang mga bading at tomboy (kaya ikaw, wag na magpanggap, ok na daw, di mo na kelangan mag gym kuno), kung saan mas mahal nang mga tao ang aso kesa sa kapwa nila tao (inday!! ibigay mo ung ulam mo kay brownie, mag skyflakes ka nalang!!!), kung saan lahat ay tumatakbo sa mga marathon, kung saan lahat ay may necklace na ang pendant ay isang mamahaling camera, kung saan papalitan na ng cobra at sting ang dumadaloy sa mga tubo ng NAWASA, kung saan lahat ng statement ay dapat magtapos sa isang uri ng emoticon (uy, tang ina mo, joke. (“,) ). Lahat ito ay bahagi na ng social norm. Lahat tangap na. Pero huwag. Uulitin ko. HUWAG NA HUWAG mong sasabihin, lalo na sa isang pampublikong lugar na. “Ay, wala akong Facebook eh..”. Patay ka dyan brad. Kiss of death yun. Baka bigla kang paskilan ng papel sa noo mo na may nakasulat na EEEWWWW!!!. Baka biglang magkaroon ng caste system sa pinas at lahat ng walang FB account ay mga untouchables. Pwede ring i-ekskomunikado ka ng simbahan katoliko at ipapakalat ito sa mga tweet ng arsobispo.

Kung stalker ka, di na kelangan ng paliwanag kung bakit adik na adik ka sa FB. Pero para sa masa. Ano bang meron dito?

Bukod sa green joke na ibinulong sayo nung tropa mong adik, pwede ka ding magshare ng pictures (aka pix),videos, notes at mga links mula sa iba pang sites. Makikita ito ng mga “friends” mo at pwede silang magkomento dito. Walang limit ang pagpo post. May sense man o wala. Healthy nga daw ito sabi nung mga sociologist. Exercising our rights to free speech daw ito. Pero lahat ba e post-worthy? O karamihan ay nagdadala lang ng badtrip.

Freedom of speech pala ha. Ito ang post ko tungkol sa mga post ng iba. Guilty tayo dito.

1. Iwasan ang pabigla – biglang pagpapalit ng relationship status. Lalo na kung mababaw lang ang dahilan tulad ng late reply sa text o hindi pag iloveyou sayo ang jowa mo kaninang alas tres (sarili nyong 3 o’clock habit). Dahil pag nagka-ayos kayo, at ibinalik mo sa dati ang status mo, ikaw din ang magmumukhang praning.

2. Walang masama kung purong tagalog ang shout out mo. Wag matakot na sabihan nang “uy makata”. Kesa naman panay nga ang english, sablay naman ang grammar at hindi kakikitaan ng sense ang sinabi. (iba ang you’re sa your).

3. Check in. Ang post kung saan sinasabi ang kasalukuyan mong lokasyon. Positibo. Pwedeng maging safety precaution. At least alam nila kung saan ka huling pumunta sakaling di ka mahagilap ng ilang araw. Negatibo. Easy prey ka sa mga serial killers o sa kaibigan na may galit sayo. (Ingat ka silvestre. hehehe)

4. May “about you” page ang FB. Dun mo isusulat ang mga hilig mo. Di mo na kelangan pang magpost ng magpost ng mga youtube videos nila Ozzy Osbourne, Metallica o Korn para ipagdiinan na rakista ka. Ikaw din, baka mahirapan kang panindigan. Lalo na pag tumugtog na ang paborito mong kanta ni Katy Perry. Napaindak at sing along si kumag.

5. Hindi kelangan magpost ng mga litrato o video nang iniembalsamo o bangkay na durog durog ang katawan at labas ang mga laman loob. Palit kaya kayo nung andun sa picture. Ako naman ang magpopost.

6. Magtira ng konting privacy para sa sarili. Hindi lahat ng bagay ay dapat ishare. Lalo na sa social media. Sarilinin mo nalang ang gusot sa pamilya o away mag asawa. Pribado na yon. Post ka ng post, tapos mababadtrip ka kung gagawing pulutan sa inuman ang kwento ng buhay mo.

7. Ok lang ipost ang mga bago mong gamit. Gaya ng mga gadget, damit o accessories. Natural lang maging proud ka lalo na kung pinaghirapan mo o importanteng tao ang nagbigay sayo nito. Di lang siguro tama na sabihing “hay nakakapagod na magshopping, andami ko kasi pinamili”.

8. Kung sakaling may nagpost ng malungkot o kaya’y tungkol sa isang masamang pangyayari sa kanila, wag mong i-like. Ano yun? Nagustuhan mo pa na sumemplang siya sa kanal.

9. Wag mong i-like ang sarili mong post. Kaya nga pinost mo in the first place. Mas malala kung ikaw din ang magcocomment. Parang loner ka naman nun.

10. Wag kang basta basta magpost ng nakakagagong comment, lalo na sa mga picture kung saan may mga taong di mo kilala. Halimbawa: “Pre, sino yang kasama mo sa pic? si Bella Flores?”. Huli mo na nalaman. Girlfriend pala niya yun.

11. Kung sakaling may nagpost ng matino at informative na mensahe. Magpasalamat. Huwag mag angas sabay comment nang “ay luma na yan, huli kana sa balita” o kaya “wala, kalokohan lang yan”. Wag kang magmagaling. Matalino kaba na parang si Rizal? E di pabaril ka sa Luneta.

12. Wag gamitin ang FB para magpakalat ng maling impormasyon at maghatid ng mass hysteria. Pero kung sino man ang napost na aabot dito ang radiation sa japan. Nagpapasalamat sayo ang manufacturer ng Betadine.

13. Wag sumali at i-like ang isang fan page kung puro kagaguhan lang ang ipopost mo sa wall nito. Halimbawa, nagpamember ka sa page ng isang seksing artista tapos mag cocomment ka lang ng “uy, sarap mo naman, parang mainit na lugaw sa malamig sa madaling araw”. Tapos magtataka, “hala.. bakit ako na banned?”.

14. Hindi lang ikaw ang may gustong manood ng sine. Wag kang mag post ng mga spoilers na maaaring ikabadtrip ng iba. “just watched Nardong Putik: Ang Pagbabalik Ni Totoy Burak, ganda ng ending, napatay nya ung kontra bida sa pamamagitan ng pagpukpok sa ulo ng isang palayok, pero sad dahil huli na nang malaman nya na tatay niya pala yun..”.

15. Di naman ata kelangan simulan ang post mo sa salitang “Damn!!” o kaya “Oh gosh” lalo na kung di naman malubha o kagulat gulat ang pangyayari. Halimbawa: “oh gosh, umuulan”. Taga saudi???

16. Wag matawa at kantyawan kung corny o masyadong romantiko ang isang post. Tandaan mo, magmamahal ka din. Lintik lang ang walang ganti. Dami kong kilalang ganyan.

17. Ok lang siguro ipost kung ano at kung saan ka kumakain. Iwasan lang yung pagpopost ng close up pictures nung pagkain mismo. Marami ang nagpapalipas ng gutom sa pamamagitan ng Facebook. Sino ka para inggitin sila. Parang yung feeling na, asa air-con bus ka, pauwi sa bahay at gutom tapos may kumag na kakain ng burger at fries. Langhap mo ang bawat kagat niya. Di maka tao. Dapat palitan ang pangalan niya. Gawing Lucifer.

18. Ok lang siguro ang mag post sa paraang Jejemon. Trip mo yun e. Wag mo nga lang asahan na seseryosohin ka kahit matino ang gusto mong sabihin. Expect mo rin na lahat ng comment sayo e magtatapos sa “jejejeje”.

19. Wag magimbita sa isang okasyon gamit ang shout out mo, tapos may ita-tag ka lang na piling tao. Bangag kaba? Makikita ng lahat ng “friends” mo na iilan lang ang gusto mo papuntahin sa nasabing okasyon.

20. Pwede ba?? HINDI PORKET ALL CAPS E GALIT ANG NAGPOST. BAKA LUMUBOG AT NASTUCK LANG ANG CAPS LOCK.

21. Sapat naman na siguro ang tatlong exclamation point para ipaalam sa bumabasa na puno ng emosyon ang post mo. Di mo kelangan punuin ng punctuations porket walang bayad ang extra characters tulad ng sa text messaging. Halimbawa. Pakyu ka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Mali yun. Dapat. Pakyu ka!!!

22. Iwasang magpost kung ikaw ay (a) lasing, (b) nasa impluwensya ng ipinagbabawal na gamot o (c) hindi tinirahan ng ulam. Walang gustong makabasa ng pag aamok mo na puno ng mali maling spelling. Kung sakaling nakakaramdam ng “FB rage”, magpahid ng menthol toothpaste sa mga palad, at itampal tampal sa mukha mo hanggang sa kumalma.

23. Oo, dapat sulitin ang unlimited surfing na maghapon mong binantayan para lang maregister. Pero di ibig sabihin nun na post lang ng post. Halimbawa, ang ilalagay mo sa shout out mo e tatlong magkakasunond na tuldok. Ano yun? Buti pa quote nalang. Time is gold.

24. Wag trigger happy sa “share” button. Hindi porket di nagappear sa profile page ang mabangis mong status message e kelangan mong tiktikin ang pagpindot. Antayin mo lang. Mamaya ilang beses na pala napost. Paulit ulit. Wag kang atat. Lalo na kung ang ipopost mo e “Patience is a virtue”.

25. Wag mong kakumpetensyahin ang youtube sa dami ng video na nakapost sa wall mo. OK lang siguro kung ishare mo ang isang nakakatawang clip kung saan may nag susurfing na pusa o kaya naman e makabuluhang excerpt ng isang documentary. Wag naman yung lahat ng mtv ng kantang marinig mo sa jeep o lahat ng episode ng wow mali.

26. Wag ipahamak ang sarili. Kung sakaling pwede naman palang acronym ang isang term e wag mo na itong buuhin sa iyong post. Loud out loud!!!!.

27. Hindi masamang makisali sa mga occasional drives o campaigns. Tulad ng paggamit ng picture ng nanay mo pag mother’s day o pag post ng mensahe tungkol sa cancer bilang status message mo. Hindi porket di ka nakisali e cool o mas sophisticated ka.

28. Kung may nagcomment o nagpost sa wall mo na di mo kilala ang pangalan pati na ang picture. I-open saglit ang profile. Wag mo agad replyan ng makamandag na “HU U?”. Malay mo, tropa mo pala yun. Binaliktad lang ang pangalan. O kaya naman e dinagdagan ng H. Mhayhumhi Pharhedez.

29. Kung magcocomment ka, halimbawa sa isang picture, iwasang gumamit ng paghahalintulad sa ibang tao lalo na kung kagaguhan lang ang sasabihin mo. Halimbawa, “baduy ng porma mo pre, parang bisaya lang” o kaya “mukha kang magsasaka”. Tandaan, di ka lamang o nakahihigit sa mga bisaya at magsasaka. Ikaw kaya, magpost ka ng video tungkol sa mga unggoy, tapos may magcomment, “ambobobo naman nila, parang ikaw”.

30. Wag kang magatubiling bumati sa mga post tungkol sa panganganak ng isang ina, pagpapakasal ng magsing irog o pagkatangap sa trabaho. Sa magulong mundo, hindi ba’t masarap ishare ang mga positibong pangyayari.

Code of ethics. Wala. Oo. Walang basagan ng trip.

Pero hindi ba mas maganda kung ginagamit mo to sa matinong paraan?

Pa-Peysbuk nga!!!

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Kulit lang di ba? xD

On being “alonely” and moving on.

8 years and 5 months.. That’s how long I am alone. When I say alone, I meant not being in a relationship. Not that I’m already complaining but I just feel bad. I feel that I will never be as happy again as I was back then. Maybe because I kept on reminiscing about my one true love that I was never able to move on from her again. I may be happy and all laughs when I’m out, talking with my friends but when I’m alone, I think of her. I miss the times we shared together. I miss everything about her. Heck, at times, I really wish I’m beside her. Wherever she is right now, I know she’s happy.

I don’t know why I bothered writing how I feel right now. You see, back then, when I’m like this, I used to call up some of my friends who really knows me and knows EVERYTHING. Pero syempre, hindi naman forever na ganun. I eventually stopped calling them. Nowadays, when I’m all depressed and everything, I lock myself up in my room, watch TV and roll on the bed then cry myself to sleep and when I wake up, BAM. Parang walang nangyari. But I’ve got to admit, that helped. I was able to stand on my own and learned that hindi forever na makikinig saken ang mga friends ko. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

Now, I am happy even though I’m alone. I lost a part of me. I lost the girl I loved so much, but I learned to love myself even more. Ganun ata talaga, they said that “When a door closes, a window opens.”. Back then, I don’t know what that means. Going through the pain of losing her then jumping right back up made me realize that I was so stupid, moping around for years without looking at the other side, ignoring the other things that really cared for me. I learned how to stand up on my own, beat myself up just to get me on the right track again.

So where am I going to with this post? Beats me. I will never be able to explain this clearly. I just spurt nonsense when I’m like this so to whoever is reading this, I’m sorry. Teehee!

:p

To the Silver couple, Congratulations!!

Today will mark my Mom and Dad’s 25th year of being together.

Imagine, 25 years of living together and raising 3 adorable children. Yep. I still consider myself adorable, thank you very much.

I am so proud that they are still together and living happily in one roof. I know that they may not be the perfect couple but I can confidently say that they are THE BEST COUPLE that I had ever seen.

Marami na silang pinagdaanan na trials but still, they stood together and faced everything head on and now, they are reaping what they sow. Naging blessings sila hindi lang sa aming magkakapatid kundi na rin sa ibang tao. I am truly blessed dahil naging anak nila ako, kami and I will forever be grateful that they have loved me and my siblings and provided for us.

Ma and Pa, I wish you ALL the best in the world. I hope and pray that you will stay the same for the next 25 years uli. Hehe!

Wala na po ako masabi kaya hanggang dito na lang. Basta, I love them both so much!!

Again, Happy SILVER anniversary Mama and Papa! I love you!! 😀

My family! Happy anniversary Mama and Papa!!!

An Ode to the Nice Guys… At ang pagbabalik ng nalulunod na isda. :)

Woot! A 3-month hiatus from the blogging world. Nyehehe! Nawalan kasi ako ng reason para magsulat, but here I am now. Nagbabalik para muling paandarin ang mapurol kong utak. Nyehehe!! At sa aking pagbabalik, I would like to share this note I saw from one of my friends’ page at Facebook. Enjoy reading! 🙂

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Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003